Malaysian weddings dilemma - How to avoid arguments

Hi all,

I'm back with some of the tips/info to share with you guys about Malaysian Wedding Dilemma - Part 1.

I read a post written by this blogger - Nina Nurziana about "Nape lelaki kawin lambat?". It is a summary that tells you the reason and the actual scenario of our wedding trends nowadays. I agreed all the points in her post and just wanted to share some more points from my side.

As you all aware or just started to read my blog, I'm going to get married in another 2 more months. As far as I'm doing all these preparations, the most critical part is when I have to choose who should I hire/pay the people to make the best wedding for me. I wanted to list down all my 'responsible team' i.e. caterer, make-up artist, photographer and etc before this in this blog but I changed my plan. I think it is better to give them a review once I used their services and would make some recommendations if they can really satisfy my needs and my wedding.

I had gone through hard times in arguing with my mother for most of the preparations. I prefer simple yet meaningful but her taste is more to glamorous, branded and pricey! I didn't mean to talk bad about her but I blame her society and environment. I tried my best to please her despite all my choices not just because I hate fighting but it's good to have the blessings from a mother for your wedding. It's priceless and "Syurga kan di bawah tapak kaki ibu sebelum berpindah ke suami?" Maybe some of you are having the same situation like me, so I would suggest you to do this way to fulfill your mom/dad's demand:

1. Tell them your wedding budget and what kind of expenses you would want to cover. If they are willing to help you, you are just lucky. If not, then you just have to REPEAT and EMPHASIS to them again and again and again about your budget limit until they stop demanding.

2. Don't ever loud your voice or start a fight with them once you want a start an argument. This would make them more exasperate. First thing is, save them by keeping your distance with them for a while. This would give you time to feel calm and back to rational. Then confront them again and tell them your reason of your choice. If they still cannot accept your choice, what you can do is to suggest "give and take". As an example, they want you to decorate the bridal room but it is beyond of your budget. So, try to suggest them to bear the cost or you will reduce some other budgets e.g. no fresh flowers dais, cut down the no. of guest, cut videographer and etc.

3. Practice yourself to be patience every time you want to discuss the wedding with your parent. Sometimes, they just don't get that time passed by and their approach of handling things is no longer valid in this new millennium. Always remember this and nail it into your heart. Even though, their suggestions/sayings are painful but they will always be our only parent. Don't blame them of being fussy and choosy because they are just trying to get the best for us. Take the good ones and leave the bad ones far behind. 

4. My mom loves to buy magazines - Pengantin, Ratu Sehari, Nona and etc. Whenever she finds something that she likes regardless the price, she would tell me and expecting me to agree with her choice. In order to avoid arguments, I let her choose and listen to her story and dreams whatsoever. After a few weeks, I will hide all the magazines so that she won't remember about what she had told me in previously. When she asks about all the magazines I would say, I still remember the design that she wants but give me some time to try it out. I'm afraid it cannot suit my cutting and some other relevant reason (that suit to your situation). If she keeps buying new magazines, just tell her that you have already found your wedding gown and the design that she likes didn't suit you so well. Always tell her WITH A REASON. She will be mad at first but she had no choice. But remember, don't shout but talk nicely even though she might raise her voice and make you lose your patience.

5.One more way in fulfilling your mom's demand is to find the same expensive design that she likes with an affordable price. Let me put it this way. I saw a fully fresh flowers dais which cost about more than RM5k and for me it is way too expensive. Somehow, me and my mom like it so much (which is seldom happen because me and my mom used to have a different taste of style). So, what I do is I combine the fresh flowers with the artificial flowers (exactly the same type of flower) to reduce the cost and I also change the dais panel into something almost similar but a bit low quality of material. That saves me almost RM2k. How's that sound?

 

Above is only my 2cents and it depends on you and how to apply it for your wedding preparations. I do have an excel file that I made myself to put all my wedding budget inside and also to track down my cash flow so that I know how much shall I have to spend before and after the wedding. If you are interested, just tell me by leaving your comments here and I'm more than happy to help couples out there to be their own wedding planner. =D

Good luck!

Selamat Berpuasa dan Meraikan Syawal penuh berkat!

Salam,

I believe it is not too late to wish you all Eid Mubarak and Happy Fasting (Puasa Enam) during Syawal.

How's the Hari Raya celebrations? Hope you all are having a good time with your family and relatives during the hari raya. The most blessing month to forgive each other and the right time to pay our relatives and friends a visit after a long lost contact.

This year is going to be the last Hari Raya for me before I end up my bachelor time end of this year. I really hope it will be a meaningful hari raya (yet it was) but unfortunately I have ruined the first day of it. I almost passed out on that day because I can't get my rest at all and I was awake the whole night. I felt so scary when it was the first time I can't really hold my body to myself. I felt like I was floating... gegegegge...

Well, forget about that. I was just extremely exhausted for helping my mom and my dad to clean up the house and cooked for the hari raya. I did enjoy my raya after recovered from the 'zombie' mode. My siblings were all back to our hometown in Malacca on the 3rd day of raya.

On the next day, Ayah was too excited to bring his four grand"babymonsters" to Melaka River Cruise. So, we went there and had a pretty good time on the boat. I looked at Ayah & Mama were sharing their old sweet memories together back in 1970s while enjoying the scenery along the journey. I was touched and proud of having such a loving parent after about 35 years of marriage.=,)

 Oh.. Perkataan 'Cruise' sudah hilang... haisshh!

Other than stuffed ourselves with kuih raye, rendang, lemang and etc in open houses, we were also visited Kg. Morten - the cultural home village sponsored by the Malacca state government. *Tiba2 raya rumah orang yang tak dikenali.. pelik2.. Hehehehe.

  Sorry, the photo quality is bad.. I edited with Adobe Photoshop Express to make it brighter and more sharp. iPhone's camera is so not reliable in capturing photos at night.. =(

We went inside the house and found out a lot of ancient stuff, furniture, paintings and decorations everywhere. The interior was unique and rare to find nowadays in rural Malacca. We didn't pay any cents to get into the house and the owner was too kind for letting us in and entertained all the visitors until 10pm. Supposed they were not open the house for visitors on that time, but they have been requested by one of the visitors who came from far. So, they benevolently opened it for the sake of hari raya. Then, all of us tumpang sekaki la.. Hehehe..

This pelita reminds me of my childhood when my late grandpa used to stick the pelita along the gate in front of my kampung in Jasin. I missed those time where my mind free from anything and lived happily without worries!

Hahaha zaman bile punye typewriter daaa... so classic and old school.

Antique wardrobe. Cool!

I'd spent so much quality time with my family during this hari raya and I left behind all my "unfinished business' in the office. Working is an endless task so no matter I like it or not, it will keep on piling up on my desk. So, I didn't bother to look at my report at all because I was just too busy savouring every moment in this hari raya. Hehehe..

 

And ultimately as to close the chapter for hari raya for this year, I found out that the happiest family member during the hari raya was...


 

 

The fluffy puffy Anet-chan scomel!

 p/s: I need a catsitter for almost 2 weeks in this December starting on 16th till 24th.Pls drop me a message if you are interested. =)

Post Penang yang dinanti2kan utk sekian lama..

Post kali ni mmg tersggggtla panjang sbb nak meluahkan perasaan terima kasih kepada Julia yang sudi membawa haku dan Sharmi berjalan2 ke Penang dgn gumbire bulan 5 lps! Ini haku kenalkan..

 Julia the Bubbles - gambar dia paling cun pernah haku tangkap! (gle bodek)

Mule2 haku dan Sharmi smp, Julia dan Amin (teman tapi mesra Julia) datang mjemput dkt stesen komuter Parit Buntar.Gle sakit pinggang sbb sgt tak selesa ambil coach duduk dlm keretapi. Hampeh! Nak stretch badan pun susah apetah lg dgn bdn sepanjang 170cm ni terpaksa menahan selama 5 jam utk sampai ke destinasi. Lain kali belilah coach yg ade katil, walaupun mahal sikit tapi sgtlah berbaloi! Sampai sana dalam pukul 5 pagi then Julia singgah kejap dekat fakulti dia sbb nak ambil barang.

 Nasib baik workstation dia kemas.. hehehe..

So, da slamat smp hostel Julia, kami pun tdo dan setelah puas menyepah2kan bilik Julia bermulalah pengembaraan kami di pagi yg indah itu..

Hari pertama - 14/5/10

Kami pergi berjalan2 di Fort Cornwallis utk melawat Abg Francis Light yg dah 6 tahun tunggu haku dan Sharmi datang. Hehehe.. (sebenarnya Julia yg tunggu..)

Fort Cornwallis ni ada dekat bandar George Town. Tempat ni bekas kubu tentera British dan diberi nama sempena General Charles Cornwallis. Haku tak pandai sgt sejarah maka kalau nak tahu lebih lanjut mungkin boleh tanya Pakcik Google.

Tak sah kalau tak de meriam dalam kubu. Haku mmg suka kumpul koleksi bergambar bersama Encik Meriam. Haaa... nanti haku upload lagi satu gambar haku bersama saudara En. Meriam dekat Melaka ye..

Memang kami agak pelik sbb tiba2 dalam kubu ada bot naga dan juga benda2 alah bawah ni.. mcm tak ada kena mengena dgn Fort Cornwallis je..

Patut bilik ni bekas penjara. Mungkin bilik ni digunakan untuk memenjarakan anak2 harimau yg tak makan saman ni. Mereka mmg gle excited ambil gambar dgn kami smp mcm2 aksi mereka buat. Ada yg cucuk langit, budget cool dan tidak kurang juga dgn aksi lari2 anak oleh Sharmi dan 'kawan barunya'..

So, itulah dia gerbang Padang Kota Lama sebelum kami meneruskan perjalanan ke tempat yg lain. Cuba tengok dekat atas pintu gerbang tu. Pun dia nak selitkan sepupu sepapat En. Meriam.

Kami sempat singgah rumah P.Ramlee mase zaman dia kecil2 dulu. Kira tempat kelahiran beliaula. Tapi kami tak sempat nak masuk dlm rumah tu sbb tutup utk bagi laluan solat Jumaat.

Eh.. kenapa dgn Sharmi? Mcm org kena penjara janji je. Haaa... next POI (places of interest) kami ialah Kek Lok Si Temple aka Temple of Supreme Bliss. Ta daa...

Mase nak naik dkt temple ni punyela tinggi tangga dia. Semput jugalah nak menapak ke atas. Budget dah sampai sane adela perigi suci ke, kot jumpe Datuk Karin ke kan.. skali kami jumpe segerombolan..

Adik beradik Datuk Kame!!! Kura2 sekalian dekat situ bertempiaran di sana sini (dlm kolam tu la) tatkala Sharmi membalingkan sayur kangkung tu. Dapatla buat amal kebajikan sikit.. Hehehe..

Dah penat merayau sakan dalam temple tu kami pun turun dan kembali berpijak ke bumi yg nyata. Kami pun tak teragak2 dgn lahapnye menjamah Nasi Kandaq Line Cleaq! (UuuUuu.. terliur haku di bulan puasa). Itu lauk Sharmi ye..ada ayam 2 ketul + daging + nasi separuh.

Kami singgah solat jamak Zuhur dan Asar dekat Masjid Kapitan Keling. Mmg cantik betul design masjid ni. Sejuk je rase hati nak solat dkt sini..

Lepas tu, kami meneruskan langkah ke Wat Chaiyamangalaram aka Buddhist temple yg menempatkan patung Buddha tgh baring kesenangan yg sama panjang dgn bangunan dlm gambar tu. Agak tidak bernasib baik sbb kami sampai lambat beberapa minit, temple ni dah tutup utk lawatan. Kalau tak, mesti dah letak gmbar patung Buddha tu.

Disebabkan keseniannye mengingatkan kami pada kartun yg paling digilai ramai - Dragon Ball Z, kami pun mmbuat aksi Cantuman Tubuh Potara!!!! - kipas susah mati Dragon Ball Z.

Next stop ialah Toy Museum. Haaa... inila maskot Julia kerana Julia tlh membuat senyuman yg sama mcm En. Jerung bila tibanya kami di sini. Cuma kami tak sempat nak ambil gmbar dia sbb Julia dah cilok semua kamera pada masa itu... Hahaha.. (ye ke?)

Dari sekecil2 patung smpla yg sebesar2nya pun ade dlm muzium ni. Jealous jgkla tgk pakcik aka tokei kepada muzium ni ada byk koleksi Dragon Ball Z.. Haku cube memujuk Sharmi utk kembali ke muzium tu pd malam hari utk mencilok koleksi tu tetapi aura dan kengerian muzium tu mmg terasela.. Wuuuu scary movie...(fhm2 je la kalau ade byk patung siapa lagi yg menumpang kan... gegegegege!)

Err.. adakah Sharmi percaya bahawa ogre jantan mcm Shrek boleh pregnant? Hehehe.. (haku baru perasan Sharmi punye baju pun dah ala2 same colour dgn baju Shrek..nasib baik kulit Sharmi bukan bwarna hijau..)

Kami terlampau gumbire sampai lompat kegirangan di depan entrance Toy Museum tu. Abg tiket dpn entrance tu pun mst menggeleng2kan kepala tgk aksi kami yg perasan konon mcm nak buat iklan TV.

Sblm balik ke hotel, kami sempat singgah ke Feringghi night market. Best jugak dapat cuci mata dgn brg2 unik dekat situ. Mmg mase ni energy level dah jadi negatif. Tapi kami kuatkan juga badan nak berjalan punye pasal. Tak silap, kami ada singgah ke Masjid Terapung dekat area Bukit Feringghi tu utk solat jamak Maghrib dan Isyak. Menurut kate tourist guide kami aka Julia, masjid tu tlh terselamat dpd ancaman bala tsunami pd tahun 2008. Alhamdulillah. Ada petunjuk di sebalik bencana alam tu.

Last skali kami akhiri jalan2 cari pasal kami hari tu dgn SUP HAMEED yg gle sedap tahap gaban! Gambar nnt akan upload sbb Julia masih lagi berhutang gambar2 dpd kamera satu lagi.. Haissshh.. (tak nak ambil dpd kamera Sharmi - nmpak Sup Hameed dah jadi warna hijau sbb flash camera) Sup Hameed ni dijual di restoran Pakcik Hameed yg terletak betul2 depan Hotel Malaysia yg kami duduk. Ruginya dapat rase satu malam je... akan haku dtg lg menghantui kamu SUP HAMEEEEEEEDDDD!!!

Hari kedua - 15/5/10

Hari kedua kami agak kepancitan sbb penat hari pertama masih tak hilang. Pagi2 lagi kami sude menyerang Chowrasta - Jeruk Haven.

Mcm kenal je perempuan bertudung hitam itu.. Hahaha.. Memang berbaloi beli jeruk kat sini sbb sedap dan boleh try on the spot. FOC (free of charge)!!! Tapi kalau anda tak malu bolela nak try dgn ambil skali byk.. hehehe..

Jangan tak tau Julia ni mase kecil2 berangan nak jadi ala2 Nancy Drew.. skali tak kesampaian. So, dia dapat pgg pistol ala2 James Bond pun ok kan. "Hi.. my name is Julia.. Julia the Jebon.."

Dua2 org kawan haku ni mmg ulat bulu. Eh.. salah ulat BUKU.. Buku senipis 200 mukasurat pun haku ambil masa 3-4 bulan nak habis baca, inikan pula buku Salina yang mungkin 2-3 kali ganda lg tebal dpd buku 200 mukasurat tu. Haku mmg tabik spring sama mereka.. (toiionngggg!!!)

Disebabkan Julia tgk kami yang dah kempunan sgt nak masuk rumah Arwah P. Ramlee ni, dia pun bawalah kami masuk ke sana. Masing2 pun mulela berangan konon2 hidup zaman2 60-70an..

Mase ni mmg kami tak tahan gelak sbb haku dan Sharmi tak henti2 berdialog ala2 dlm cerita P. Ramlee. Bukan sahaja dialog je kami hafal, sepanjang kami berada dlm rumah tu kami asyiklah menyanyi lagu2 yg pernah keluar dlm filem P. Ramlee. Tak tahu lirik kami ulang je la part mane yg tau.. hehehe..

Sudah puas menyanyi, menari dan posing di sana sini, kami balik ke hotel utk mandi. Tempat penutup utk lawatan kami ialah di rumah mentua Kok Leong. On the way nak pegi sana, Julia telah mmbuat kejutan utk kami di mana dia telah membawa kami menaiki feri bersama kereta MyVinye.

Lihatlah betapa Sharmi menggelabah biawak menaiki feri. Haku pun mcm gayat juge tu pasalla haku menghadap laut. Hahaha..

Mesti macam pelik kenapa naik feri pakai baju kurung. Ini kerana kami dalam perjalanan nak pergi ke majlis perkahwinan Kok Leong aka Taufiq. Kawan kami ni seorg mualaf dan telah memeluk Islam sewaktu kami Form 5 lagi. Hebat kan sbb dia baru masuk Islam dan tak lama lepas tu dah jadi tukang azan utk surau SABKL lg. Peh, bertuah yg empunya suami.

Selamat Pengantin Baru utk Kok Leong dan isteri. Semoga kekal bahagia sehingga ke akhirat.. Aamin. Kok Leong tetap maintain mcm dulu cuma dah lebih chubby berbanding mase sekolah.. Hahaha. Hati berbunga gumbire la katakan.. pengantin baru..

Sebenarnya ada lagi gambar aksi2 menarik utk dikongsi tapi banyak telah disimpan oleh Julia. Maka, kalau haku rajin akan haku tambah lagi gambar atau special post khas untuk memaparkan master piece haku yg 18SX dari Penang yg diambil menggunakan kamera Julia. HUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA!!!

Sekali lagi haku mengucapkan... TERIMA KASIH JULIA kerana membawa haku dan Sharmi berjalan2 meninggalkan angin di Penang... =D

May Allah lead him the way.. aaminn

I received an email a couple days ago showing this FB thread of a teenager (I guess). My colleague got this from his friend and he was asking what would I feel after reading this.

Source - Anonymous 

Astagfirullahal'azim.. - that was the first word that came out from my mouth.

May Allah shows him the right path before it is too late. I believe this youngish boy didn't know anything what he was talking about and really need full guidance to bring him back to Islam.

If anyone happens to know this boy or probably knows how to handle this kind of situation, please please and please.. do something. I have spread the emails to my close friends and hope that it will reach to someone who has connection with him. Either his parent, siblings or family. Don't believe in his friends as you all can see how did his friends supported his rude post.

Please bring him back and we don't want our future generation to behave like this. This is so NOT acceptable and have put our religion in disgrace. Masya-Allah.

Why don't that teenage boy take this as a good example and a very good role model like...

Adik Muhammad Al-Hafiz b. Ahmad Zahid.

Betapa sejuknya hati ibu yang mengandungkan anak seperti beliau.

I really adore Muhammad since the first time I listened to his azan on TV. How I wish to have my nephews or son(s) (if Allah permits) to become like him.. Aaaminn..

May these 2 comparison will make you realize that we are so near to the end of the world...

p/s: I take it as a reminder for me too..

In Pursuit of Blogging

Salam,

As I remember in my last post, I planned to update this blog on the next day but unfortunately the workload from office suddenly came bugging me and I was fully occupied again. We just know how to plan but Allah knows better what will happen in the future.

Anyway, I will try to steal some time and do whatever I have mentioned earlier.. Perhaps you can see some changes in this blog..huhu.

Below was the TO-DO LIST based on the previous post and let's mark whichever that I have done:

1. Trash all the blog links that are no longer active. 

I thought most of the links were no more active but they were still alive! So, to make it more spicy, I have added some more links that are worth to be read.. Enjoy! =)

2. Change the category list. 'Rumors' is no longer relevant to me because I'm not good in following the latest news in Malaysia.

Done! 

3. To include 'Haku.went.traveling' and 'Haku.getting.married' categories. Hehehe..

Haku.went.travelling -> Done. 

Haku.getting.married -> In-Progress  

4. To put watermark or reference/source on all the photos uploaded in here - supaye tidak kena saman di kemudian hari.

Done and uploaded some personal photos for traveling.

5. Find some interesting blogs to be linked from here.

Done!

6. Add more posts!

Done! 

7. Need to change the blog design due to lame & boring layout - if I have the whole week off from work!

Not started yet.. 


p/s: This post will be updated from time to time.. =)