Hi all,
I'm back with some of the tips/info to share with you guys about Malaysian Wedding Dilemma - Part 1.
I read a post written by this blogger - Nina Nurziana about "Nape lelaki kawin lambat?". It is a summary that tells you the reason and the actual scenario of our wedding trends nowadays. I agreed all the points in her post and just wanted to share some more points from my side.
As you all aware or just started to read my blog, I'm going to get married in another 2 more months. As far as I'm doing all these preparations, the most critical part is when I have to choose who should I hire/pay the people to make the best wedding for me. I wanted to list down all my 'responsible team' i.e. caterer, make-up artist, photographer and etc before this in this blog but I changed my plan. I think it is better to give them a review once I used their services and would make some recommendations if they can really satisfy my needs and my wedding.
I had gone through hard times in arguing with my mother for most of the preparations. I prefer simple yet meaningful but her taste is more to glamorous, branded and pricey! I didn't mean to talk bad about her but I blame her society and environment. I tried my best to please her despite all my choices not just because I hate fighting but it's good to have the blessings from a mother for your wedding. It's priceless and "Syurga kan di bawah tapak kaki ibu sebelum berpindah ke suami?" Maybe some of you are having the same situation like me, so I would suggest you to do this way to fulfill your mom/dad's demand:
1. Tell them your wedding budget and what kind of expenses you would want to cover. If they are willing to help you, you are just lucky. If not, then you just have to REPEAT and EMPHASIS to them again and again and again about your budget limit until they stop demanding.
2. Don't ever loud your voice or start a fight with them once you want a start an argument. This would make them more exasperate. First thing is, save them by keeping your distance with them for a while. This would give you time to feel calm and back to rational. Then confront them again and tell them your reason of your choice. If they still cannot accept your choice, what you can do is to suggest "give and take". As an example, they want you to decorate the bridal room but it is beyond of your budget. So, try to suggest them to bear the cost or you will reduce some other budgets e.g. no fresh flowers dais, cut down the no. of guest, cut videographer and etc.
3. Practice yourself to be patience every time you want to discuss the wedding with your parent. Sometimes, they just don't get that time passed by and their approach of handling things is no longer valid in this new millennium. Always remember this and nail it into your heart. Even though, their suggestions/sayings are painful but they will always be our only parent. Don't blame them of being fussy and choosy because they are just trying to get the best for us. Take the good ones and leave the bad ones far behind.
4. My mom loves to buy magazines - Pengantin, Ratu Sehari, Nona and etc. Whenever she finds something that she likes regardless the price, she would tell me and expecting me to agree with her choice. In order to avoid arguments, I let her choose and listen to her story and dreams whatsoever. After a few weeks, I will hide all the magazines so that she won't remember about what she had told me in previously. When she asks about all the magazines I would say, I still remember the design that she wants but give me some time to try it out. I'm afraid it cannot suit my cutting and some other relevant reason (that suit to your situation). If she keeps buying new magazines, just tell her that you have already found your wedding gown and the design that she likes didn't suit you so well. Always tell her WITH A REASON. She will be mad at first but she had no choice. But remember, don't shout but talk nicely even though she might raise her voice and make you lose your patience.
5.One more way in fulfilling your mom's demand is to find the same expensive design that she likes with an affordable price. Let me put it this way. I saw a fully fresh flowers dais which cost about more than RM5k and for me it is way too expensive. Somehow, me and my mom like it so much (which is seldom happen because me and my mom used to have a different taste of style). So, what I do is I combine the fresh flowers with the artificial flowers (exactly the same type of flower) to reduce the cost and I also change the dais panel into something almost similar but a bit low quality of material. That saves me almost RM2k. How's that sound?
Above is only my 2cents and it depends on you and how to apply it for your wedding preparations. I do have an excel file that I made myself to put all my wedding budget inside and also to track down my cash flow so that I know how much shall I have to spend before and after the wedding. If you are interested, just tell me by leaving your comments here and I'm more than happy to help couples out there to be their own wedding planner. =D
Good luck!
